**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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