this beer tastes like vomit already
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
