dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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