We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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