just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
