So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
