Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
