You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
there was a trapeze. enough said
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
