I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Randomize
