party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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