This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
