i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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