Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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