White coat. Heels.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
