don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
