Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
