Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
