I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
