everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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