some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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