bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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