he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
