If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize