Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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