He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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