I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
