you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
