...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
