i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
