I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
