good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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