Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
from now on my penis is your penis
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
do herpes really smell.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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