Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I AM VODKA MAN
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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