I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
