Screwed.edu
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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