Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
