$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
