how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
