Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
