And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
