I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
