I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize