Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
did i walk over a car last night?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
