i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
