rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
