My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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