forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
