New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
