Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
