Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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