Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize