Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
