I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
