oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
