I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
