the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
