Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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