i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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