he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
