i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
why does every cop we meet know your name?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize