YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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