so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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